Father Of The Year Award!

How unfortunate that fate drops you into the care of a father like this, one that weighs you down with a historically horrible name, just to satisfy his own leanings.

How unfortunate would it be to go through life as a child Adolf Hitler, exposed to media attention, surely teased and tormented by other kids?

That's the case for little Adolf Hitler Campbell, who for the last two weeks has been the subject of news reports, blog posts, and comments forms, since his father became upset when ShopRite supermarkets refused to make him a cake. A cake that read "Happy Birthday Adolf Hitler"!

Questionable father Heath Campbell and his daughter JoyceLynn Aryan Nation Campbell. That's right, JoyceLynn Aryan Nation Campbell. One other unlucky child is dubbed Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie Campbell, apparently a nod to Nazi Himmler and a death camp.

It's sad that the poor boy had trouble getting a cake for his third birthday, but Wal-Mart relented and made him a cake. This father must truly be a wonderful Dad. Always pressing the point, I assume asking for a cake that did not say "Happy Birthday Adolf", but instead "Happy Birthday Adolf HITLER"! What a cowardly method of living a life and a political belief, to drag a child through that muck. I Only wish Heath's parents had been more insightful and chose a better name for Dad- Asshole Campbell. Heath, listen up...

Read the whole stupid story here.

If You Steal 1.6 Million Dollars From The Navy, Probably A Good Idea To Hide It Before Slapping Your Wife Around

Or something like that. After being arrested for domestic abuse, she called his employer, the U. S. Navy and asked them to take his work hear out of her house. Oops. Read the huge theft story here.

Judge Releases Heroin Addict Burglar Go Despite 145 Crimes

That's way left of center I would say, go free and promise not to be bad again. Surely the other 145 crimes were all a mistake. It's enough to make me want to puke. Here in Texas we might have executed him... just because! Read the story here.

Woman Brings Bat To School, Kids Touch It, Bat Rabid, Parents Too!

This woman bought a dead bat to school and let children touch it. See how soft he is kids? Oh, by the way kids, he has rabies, which can be spread through saliva. Don't worry though, the month long rabies treatment only costs $800 each and will be covered by the school's insurance. Read the story here.

Forget Obama And McCain, Vote Cynthia McKinney!

JUST KIDDING! Please check out this story and video where the Green Party presidential candidate Cynthia McKinney claims the Department of Defense killed 5,000 people, mostly men, following hurricane Katrina, with single bullets to the head. How di all the networks miss this? The families of the men, so quiet! Read the whole delusional stroy and watch the video here, and try to refrain from wondering if they have one bullet left...

Woman In Cow Suit Arrested For Chasing Children, More. Mug Shot!

This woman was arrested for dressing in a cow suit and chasing neighborhood children, and peeing on the neighbor's porch. 'Udderly' ridiculous. Read the story here.

Mom Arrested For Giving Baby Beer In Sippy Cup

Well, it shouldn't be much of a surprise anyway, as the cops were there undercover to buy drugs. Charges include trafficking heroin, distribution of marijuana, child abuse... oh yeah, twice she offered to have sex for $100 so also promoting prostitution. Kind of like a grocery store of sin. Read the story here

Florida Mug Shots, Always Good For A Look!

Tristan Macker, Florida. Possession of Marijuana (Possibly Face Graffiti)

Paul Jackson, Florida. Battery, Theft, Several other charges, and a beautiful smile.

Cheryl Bohanan, Florida. Domestic Violence, and Fuck Off, She's Taken!

Robert Thorton, Florida. Domestic Battery, Disorderly Intoxication. Who would guess?

Horrible Video Of Girl Leaving Baby At A Church In Federal Way, Washington

Sure she has troubles and all, and I am sure her lawyers will ask us to pity her for all the stress she was under, but what a major ass leaves an infant wrapped in a beach towel in 49 degree weather!

Teen Tries To Have Mom Killed So He Can Spend Her Money On Girlfirend's Boob Job.

Teen hires two "hit men" to kill his mother with a baseball bat, so he will have money from her bank account to pay the rent and buy his girlfriend a boob job. Where he is headed now, HE will be the girlfriend. Read the story here.

China Releases Transcript Of Astronaut Conversations. Before The Rocket Is Launched.

China released news of their latest space launch, including transcripts of detailed dialogue between the space vehicle and the base. All several hours before the actual rocket left the launch pad. Surely that little Olympic athlete was of legal competition age, right. Read the story here.

Kentucky Town Drunk Arrested Over 1,300 Times!

Henry Earl of Kentucky has been arrested over 1,300 times, mostly for public intoxication, and has spent over 5,000 days in custody. Avoid hangovers Henry, stay drunk! Read the story here.

28! Students Suspended. For Cooking Breakfast. Next Time, Just Smoke Pot In The Bathroom Kids! Make It Count.

I find it hard to believe that the kids realize "it was a foolish thing to do", unless of course they are referring to the knucklehead administrators suspending them. Read the story here.

Why The Real Estate Gurus Are Wrong And You Don't Want To Be A Landlord

This renter vacated his apartment leaving over 1,000 polystyrene fast food containers strewn about, not to mention the incredible mountain of cigarette butts carefully stacked on the sink. Ugh. Flat for rent, HUGE deposit! Click on image for a better view and read the story here.

Florida Man Arrested For DUI. In Related News He, Loves Midget Porn. Is He Aware That Little People Is What Small Porn Stars Prefer To Be Called?

Jon Paul Matterson, Florida (Of Course)

Driving Under The Influence

"Loves Midget Porn"

Bed, Bath And Beyond Refuses To Allow 911 To Be Called From Their Phone.

So it's just a child in a locked car on a summer day, and it is nit the concern of the Bed, Bath and Beyond store. After all, that's out in the hot parking lot and their are candles to arrange and sheets to stock. No, don't even think about calling the police with OUR phone. Company issues hugely BS statement and says it will make a great training exercise! Read the story here.

Burglar Walks Home In Underwear, Forgets Wallet.

Man breaks into home, takes off all of his clothes but his underwear, steals and drinks a bottle of wine, then leaves, walking home. In his underwear. "Oh, damn, I forgot my pants at the house. With my wallet in them!" Read the whole pathetic story here.

Note To Self- When I Kidnap Someone Do Not Set My Gun Down Next To Victim To Text Message Someone.

When one of the kidnappers (in Florida, of course) sets his gun down to type a text message, victim shoots and kills him. Hope it was an important message. Read the story here.

Woman Shoots Two People Because They Haven't Seen Her Chihuahua.

I will ask you once have you seen my Chihuahau, I might ask a second time have you seen my Chihuahua, and you better come up with a freakin' Chihuahua or I'll cap yo ass! Read the story here.

New York State Throws Out Lawsuit From Woman Who Slipped At A Waterfall While Walking. On Slick Rocks. In Shoes With No Tread. While Blindfolded!

New York woman walking blindfolded and in slick bottom shoes slips an trail to waterfall, falls 120 feet, and survives! The not surprising news is she sued the state of New York because they "failed to adequately warn of the dangers involving the falls and the stream leading to the falls." The good, funny, and oh so righteous news is that New York has thrown the case out. Read the story here.