Alabama Says Oops, Roads Clogged. Gustav Evacuees, Turn North.

Alabama issued notice through Mississippi that I-10 East was experiencing "major delays" and that all Hurricane Gustav evacuees should turn North. Makes one wonder what the Governor of Texas told him? Read the entire story here.

Cops Told To Take Hands Out Of Pockets And Remove Facial Piercings

Norfolk, England just informed their cops that they should remain "polite and courteous", and to keep their hands out of their pockets. Also, fingernails are not to be painted "extreme colours", and no piercings shall be worn "through the nose, eyebrows, lips, (or) tongue". Even Miami Vice style "designer stubble" is over and done with. Now, about the crime, what are we going to do about the crime? Read the story here.

Gustav Bears Down On New Orleans. Worse, Blackwater Stormtroopers To Follow

As Gustav approaches the Gulf Coast the firm of Blackwater has issued a multi-state call for security forces to patrol New Orleans. All applicants must be firearm certified and those with "revolver-only status need not apply". Read up on Blackwater methods after Katrina and in Iraq and their many "accidents". Read the story here.

Man Tries To Cut Off Arm At Denny's Restaurant

Remember folks, if you find yourself in a motel room shooting cocaine into your arm and believe you have injected air into your arm, proceed to the nearest Denny's and attempt to cut off your own arm. For an even better effect, start with the butter knife. Read the complete story here.