San Antonio To Recycle 90% Of Human Waste For Energy. How's That For Being Green?

San Antonio will generate methane and therefore energy from 90% of it's human waste. Not a crappy idea at all. 1.5 million cubic feet of gas per day, makes you kind of wonder about all the lost opportunity in years past. Read the story here.

Black Church Sues To Shut Down "Redneck Store", Local Will Have To Settle For Spring "White Sales"

In a complicated series of real estate deals the church may own the building, but probably has no legal right to stop the "Redneck Store" from operating and selling KKK merchandise. This might bode badly for the Satan Store down the street. Read the story here.

Missing 77 Year Old Man Found In Bar Drinking A Few Beers.

Several days after the man just vanished from a nursing home, worried officials found him staying at a hotel, drinking a few brews with the locals. I do not blame him one bit. Read the story here.

Man Dying Of Cancer Buys His Own Tombstone And Gives Away All His Money. Oopsie, Doctors Were Wrong!

Knowing he had but a few weeks to live, he divided his worldly possessions amongst friends and family, and bought his own tombstone, surely a happy purchase. A year later, doctors give him the good news- We were wrong! Read the story here.

Florida Man Arrested For DUI. In Related News He, Loves Midget Porn. Is He Aware That Little People Is What Small Porn Stars Prefer To Be Called?

Jon Paul Matterson, Florida (Of Course)

Driving Under The Influence

"Loves Midget Porn"

So, We Didn't Thiink Just Because The Smuggled Metal Glittered And Sparked At Night It Could Be Dangerous.

Three men smuggled a 600 pound block of uranium into China for resale, not realizing it would be unhealthy to do so. When it sparkled and glittered at night, they played with it, then strapped pieces to their body to bring samples to a metal buyer. Read the story here.

Sarah Palin Action Figure Comes In Three Styles, Including Teen Tramp!

Just released to an audience hard to imagine, three versions of the Sarah Palin action figure, including one with a Britney Spears style short schoolgirl skirt! Great for pretending to blow up bridges to nowhere. Soon to follow, her sidekicj the Lipstick Pig? Read the story here.

Obama Says McCain's Changes Are A Pig In Lipstick. McCain Squeals Loudly!

Obama says McCain's politics are ugly, even dressed up they are no more than a pig with lipstick. McCain camp nervous and angry thinking Palin has been insulted. No comment from the pig community. Read the story here.

Bebo Social Network Hosts Fake Teen Ghetto Gangsters. Again.

Kids in Britain pose on social networking site Bebo as gangsters from the ghetto. Right, this sounds like what those punks in Colorado would have done if they hadn't missed the Internet. Read the story here.